June 17, 2014

Well nothing much has changed.  I am at fault for where I am.  If I wnated out I could’ve gotten out, so why try to seek sympathy.  I think this person does love me, the best that they can…for what they know of love. Me, who knows.  I cry at the thought of the loss.  I cry at the thought of all loss. I want my old life back and I ccan’t have it back.  Nothing seems fair to me.  Life I don’t guess was ever guaranteed to be fair.  I most of the time would like to just disappear…off into oblivion…  I doubt if anyone would care…or if I’d be missed…at least not for long. No kids to mourn me.  My parents are home. I never really see what siblings I do have..as far as my life, it is pretty much work and home.  So, what is it??  Why bother…  everyone posts these happy pictures and smiles and I feel mine are false…I don’t know what happiness is or how to really get there.  Nothing seems to make me really happy. 

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