Well nothing much has changed. I am at fault for where I am. If I wnated out I could’ve gotten out, so why try to seek sympathy. I think this person does love me, the best that they can…for what they know of love. Me, who knows. I cry at the thought of the loss. I cry at the thought of all loss. I want my old life back and I ccan’t have it back. Nothing seems fair to me. Life I don’t guess was ever guaranteed to be fair. I most of the time would like to just disappear…off into oblivion… I doubt if anyone would care…or if I’d be missed…at least not for long. No kids to mourn me. My parents are home. I never really see what siblings I do have..as far as my life, it is pretty much work and home. So, what is it?? Why bother… everyone posts these happy pictures and smiles and I feel mine are false…I don’t know what happiness is or how to really get there. Nothing seems to make me really happy.